You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i dont even know how to be here
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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