We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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