Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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