just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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