just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
