it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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