Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
