Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
