Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
