They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
