im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
