tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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