I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
