Well apparently he's into motor boating.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize