I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
