I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
