i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
