As long as you're not dating white guys again.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
