so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
