I look better un-naked...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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