now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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