1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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