used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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