You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
