Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
