so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
