I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
