I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize