he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
