So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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