Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
