there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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