Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
