the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
