I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
