hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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