He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
