This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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