who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
