I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
