2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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