I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
