Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
