apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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