??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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