i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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