Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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