Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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