i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
