i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
