I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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