Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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