well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
