i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
