I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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