So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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