Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
