He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
